Hello, how are you?
It’s been a while.
I have been training, working and volunteering…all very fulfilling and enhancing, but time consuming.
Time consuming… what a horrible thought!
Time can be consumed. It doesn’t return. It arrives and flies by in a heartbeat.
Luckily, some of us do not know what time we have. We wander through our days wishing them away, worrying or procrastinating, or sadly; simply surviving.
Think about that for a moment; which one describes you?
As able as we are at surviving, because it is our default setting, and, although we may have a healthy amount of resilience in the bank, we can, from time to time; feel … off!
If you are wondering why you are feeling a bit low, and cannot find a peg to hang it on, could I suggest that it is September.
Remember when we were children and the summer stretched, yawning in expectation before us, only to be hurried away in a “return to school” frenzy of equipment collection.
Outside smells different, it feels crisper, and then there are the spiders!
The mornings are slower, colder and darker, and the evenings come quickly and are chilly and grey.
Whatever light that comes swiftly leaves after fewer hours, we sadly and regretfully put away our flip flops and contemplate hearty stews and search for our discarded warm woollens!
It’ll soon be Chr… no!… I won’t mention it.
So we can feel… off!
When trauma of any kind is held in our central nervous system, “ordinary life” becomes tricky, disabling and huge. We do hold on to trauma because at the time of experiencing it, we go into survivor mode in order, well… to survive, but the trauma is absorbed and can be awoken from its slumber by triggers that remind us we were once in peril.
It is important to realise that trauma… we can call it stress, problems or issues, doesn’t un happen, but we can process it into an acceptable part of us that allows us to go on, to function and even to flourish.
We cope daily, with daily stress, but we hold onto it, we pack it into bags that we drag around with us because we don’t want to give in to stress.
Some of us think it is weakness.
But, when we decide we have seemingly ordinary lives, and that stress is to be carried and endured because we want to appear strong and capable; we decide not to recognise the stress, in ourselves, or in others.
We lose empathy and become competitive.
We ridicule the stressed ones, we poo-poo therapeutic counselling as only for the poor souls that can’t cope!
We decide that stress belongs to people with bigger problems, more difficult lives, less money, illness… etc etc.
I don’t believe there is a hierarchy of problem because if we ignore the small things they grow like weeds and we become overwhelmed; a once tidy garden becomes unmanageable.
What to do? My garden is over-run with weeds?
When you leave them they grow bigger.
Overwhelm becomes anxiety which left without support becomes disabling and huge.
And then we become ill.
As human beings we have evolved beyond simple survival and we now question our existence…
What is my point,
What am I worth,
Why am I here???????
Well, we are Human Beings not Human Doings, just stop! Stop and feel.
Stop and smell, taste, listen and look around.
Ok, I can hear your eyes rolling!
Here she goes… more grounding!
More being grateful!
More softy psycho-babble!
Well, I would like to challenge you to try it.
What are you waiting for?
A terminal diagnosis?
A near death experience?
The loss of someone irreplaceable?
We wait, we procrastinate, we say “when I retire…”
Climbing mount Everest might be your thing, or calling your estranged relation or friend might be your Mount Everest.
Life can be short, but it can be beautiful, and simple and worthwhile.
To sober us up; life can also be long, cruel and painful.
Think about that for a moment.
As a fellow Human and as a Qualified Therapeutic Counsellor I can offer a different perspective on your perception of your life.
Together we can unpack what went on, feel its impact and respectfully accept it… it won’t unhappen.
After reflection and vulnerability, as we do grow from being vulnerable; we can slowly, together, safely move on.
I do not think anyone has a higher need than another to be heard and understood and supported.
What ever you are carrying I can help you sort through it and feel lighter… if you want to do the work.
This is a collaboration; a team effort and I do not promise a cure.
Huge spiders chasing each other as this when they mate… to create more spiders (shudder!)
How can we tweak this over to a slightly more positive outlook?
Less flies… spider food.
Beautiful intricate webs, freakishly strong and fascinating.
Dark mornings, shorter days, mmm struggling!
Need to find the positive… comfort food, not feeling guilty for being in pyjamas at 5pm, can watch more telly rather than being pressured to be out in the sunshine!
Bit of a reach for me, but I do like wearing pyjamas!
Whatever comes our way, the sun comes up, then sets, the moon takes charge and then sleeps, and the seasons guide our clothes and food and mood.
Perhaps we have become too evolved. Too productive. Maybe we should look to nature and follow the sun.
Hibernation sound bliss, eating my way through enough to sustain that glorious sleep sounds wonderful and snuggling into warm clothing so comforting.
Yet we do not heed to nature. We work rest and play according to our mortgage and bills.
Of course, we do this as we have little choice, we cannot put the Genie back in the bottle, we need money.
But for some there is just struggle, there is little warmth and then comes the cool, dark, wet Winter.
Things can seem grimmer, sadder, unbearable.
I can support your journey through the Winter if you would like. It is good to feel some warmth during dark days, it can make all the difference.
Think about how you feel when someone shows you a little ray of light, some kindness, empathy and comradery … it normalises things, that little ray of light shows us a pathway not visible before when we felt alone and frightened.
It might not change the destination, but it may make the journey all the better.
So ever so warmly and with love.